Author: mentorco

Power vs. Empathy

More and more lately, I have an impression that the results of parliamentary elections across the world partly reflect the percentage of population who admire power/money and individuals who have power/money. The desire for power and admiration for those who have power is one of human biological instincts, and is often in conflict with the…

An advice for women who want to be taken seriously

American society seems to be more divided than ever, and one of those divisions is between women seeking to be respected and macho “meninist” backlash. The whole society is steeped in two seemingly opposing, but similarly traditional influences upon women; one is religious pressure on women to be compliant and traditionally feminine; the other are…

Academic and emotional intelligence: correlated or not?

Quite a few times we are surprised when some obviously intelligent people make mess in their own or other people’s lives with their lack of emotional awareness, lack of empathy or by surrendering to unhealthy emotions. It feels natural to expect intelligent people to also be able to understand the complexity of human emotions and…

Just published: Emotional Maturity Workbooks series

I’m happy to announce another project finished: 6 short e-books in “Emotional Maturity Workbooks” series. I won’t put exclamation marks here because they would probably just misrepresent what I want to express, but I definitely feel that one big step is done. After I published my first book on Amazon, I noticed, based on reviews…

Is it OK to stay in touch with an ex?

Sometimes people ask me if it’s OK for them or their partner to be in contact with an ex after starting a new relationship. If you have been reading my posts and articles for a while, you will know that I avoid categorical judgments about “right” and “wrong”,  except when it comes to abuse and…

Emotional logic

A quote from a client I was working with recently: “I don’t value myself, so if a girl falls in love with me, I automatically respect her less.” Let that sink in for a moment. Practically a whole novel is contained in this one sentence (as well as some admirable awareness and honesty). Emotional logic…

Falling in love with “bad guys” (and girls)

A significant number of men encourage each other to believe that women want dominant men who will overpower them and show them their place. It is true that women are often biologically attracted to confident, even dominant men. The instinctive, usually unconscious hope behind this attraction is that such a man can be a safe…

Difficult decisions

Many times, resolving immature emotions, internal conflicts, and toxic beliefs can make  difficult decisions much easier. You might recognize, for example, that your partner is not your child and it’s not your responsibility to make them happy. Or you might resolve toxic emotional bonds which made you fall in love with an incompatible person. Sometimes,…

Communication styles: directing and informing

Amongst many other details when it comes to relationships and communication, it’s useful to be aware of the difference between two basic ways to express a wish or a request: directing and informing. Directing style expresses a wish, a request or a demand directly: “Shut the window”, or more gently: “Shut the window, please”, “Would…

The key to parenting

The job of parents, in my opinion, is not to make a child happy. The key to parenting is to teach children how to create happiness in spite of problems and challenges. This can be done through personal example, as well as emotionally and intellectually supporting the children when they face problems. Too many parents try to protect…